I had a pt scan on Tuesday, and it was not one of the better days of my life. The tech had to stick me four times to get a vein to inject the radioactive tracer. Including one in my wrist, which hurt like the blazes. Ugh. We were a half hour finding a vein.
I saw the doctor today and the results were not as good as I’d hoped, First of all, I have fluid accumulating under my breast stump that is interfering with my breathing. I’ve been very short of breath for quite some time now, and I’ve been beating myself up about it. It’s kind of nice to know it’s not my fault, but I’m bummed because I have to go to the hospital Monday and have them stick a big needle in there and draw off the fluid. It’s called a “thoracentesis”. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? I’ll bet it’s going to HURT. They’re supposed to numb me up with Novocain, but I’m not getting my hopes up. It will be nice to breathe again normally.
Seriously, I thought I was losing my mind. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get my breath. Much negative self-talk (“Come on you fat slob.”) and trying to ignore it.
As far as the cancer is concerned, the bones of my trunk are pretty well peppered with it. Nothing big enough to call a tumor, but lots of little specks. My breastbone, ribs, shoulder blades, both arms, my pelvis and hips are fairly well invaded with “specks”. Plus, I have a couple of one centimeter lesions, both in the bones of my left arm.
So, it looks like my back pain and the problems with my hips are more related the cancer than we thought. *sigh*
What we’re going to do is continue the targeted chemotherapy and they’re adding a drug called Xgeva to strengthen my bones. My prognosis is not as good as we were hoping. I’ve probably got five years at the absolute maximum, more likely just a couple.
I know this is going to upset everybody (think how I feel!), but let’s try not to fuss too much about it. I know you all want me to get well. I wanted to get well, too, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. We can cry, if you want, but then let’s get past it and try to enjoy the time we have left together, okay?